Just bitchin', lol. I'd be ranting on Facebook, 'cept the people I'm talking about would know I was talking about them.

Okay, so. I have one girl I hang out on a regular basis. I haven't seen her alone since I got back from Europe. It's been about a month. Usually I see her everyday. But... she has a boyfriend now. And I've been punted out. It sucks a lot. Even if I do get to hang out with her, her boyfriend is always around. I hate it a lot. She's one of my bestest best friends. And I'm just annoyed because I don't get to see her without her boyfriend glued to her hip.
And their relationship pisses me off a little bit, too. I mean, I like the guy (kinda, he annoys me a little bit. He's kinda big and dumb.). Their relationship just... I dunno, they're always so /cute/. It's like too much of that anime cuteness; a little bit is okay and makes you go aww, but after about hearing them argue over who's more attractive ('Oh, that's a good picture, except I mess it up with my ugly face.' 'Oh, no, it's my face that messes it up. If I wasn't in it it could be on the front of a magazine'.)... it gets old.
I don't know if I'm jealous... I mean, I always feel like she's the center of attention and I'm the sideshow. Kind of like I'm a costar in my own life, and she's the lead role. It makes my head hurt, and I want to cry a little bit. I think I'm a little bit jealous... the only guy who's every showed any interest is a commitment phobiac. Which brings me to my next rant.

WHAT. THE. HELL. Okay, so this guy and I have had this weird friendship relationship for the last couple of years. On occasion, he'll act like he has some interest in me, and it's been more consistent for the last couple of weeks. Whenever I go to his house, we end up cuddling or with his arms around me. BUT. But he refuses to talk about it, and then I don't want to bring it up, because I don't want to be clingy. Not to mention, I'm leaving in 3 days now, and he's staying here while I'm going an hour away.

Not to mention he's not even the kind of guy I'd want to date. I mean, he's actually the complete opposite. He smokes, he swears (not around me, which I appreciate, but he does around his friends), and I'm sure he's started messing around with drugs. I DUNNO WHY HE HAS SO MUCH CONTROL OVER ME.
I guess I feel like I'm a girl has to take what she can get. I'm not pretty; my doctor says I'm not overweight, but by today's standard, I am. I try really hard, but I have such a hard time losing weight. I don't have nice hair, big eyes, or a beautiful face. I act like I have high self confidence, but I really don't...
I'm hoping once I go to school, I'll find a guy right for me, and friends right for me... I'm just avoiding the world for the next few days until I'm gone. I actually think that's a pretty good plan. If I stay away from these people who keep bugging me, I won't mess anything up.

Yeah. Sorry for that. I just needed to let it all out, y'know? Like I said, I'd do it on Facebook, but the people I'm talking about would see it and I'm too much of a coward to confront them... I just don't want to get into a 'fight' with anyone before I leave. I mean, seriously, it's my last week here.